James Murphy's Philosophical Imperative
LCD Soundsystem show at Knockdown Center 12/15
“All my life I’d been precocious… I was like you know, I was supposed to be smart and I was supposed to be creative. I think hearing those things makes you scared you're going to do something stupid or do something uninteresting and no one will see you as smart or creative anymore.” - James Murphy, PSL interview 2013
Precocious. Timid. Afraid of failure. It’s been three years since I saw LCD Soundsystem in 2021. Only now, am I finding my footing. I stopped listening to what others told me I am. I am only who I want to be.
This year, I made an adamant effort to follow James Murphy’s philosophy. I actively ignored the voices in my head telling me not to pursue creative endeavors. I took music classes, played with new people, went to shows, put out an EP.
Nobody said it would be easy and it’s been hard. “And it keeps coming, it keeps coming, and it keeps coming till the day it stops.” Waking up in the morning and fighting the instinct to coast in familiarity. To feign confidence and center creative practice. Facing the unrelenting host of new challenges, novel and unbeknownst to my past self. “And it keeps coming, and it keeps coming, till the day it stops.” I greet my new reality and will hold her until we part.
You are here. The mantra of the 2021 LCD tour was absent on the posters and adjacent memorabilia at the LCD show Sunday night. Disassociating in the audience, I searched for this moniker. Since I was 16, I dreamed of moving to Brooklyn and involving myself in artistic circles. Now, I am here. I am where I want to be. It doesn’t feel real.
In the Knockdown Center, the room swelling with the throbbing synthesizers, twinkling arpeggiators, and thumping bass lines that marked my sonic youth, I broke down. 2024 was the hardest year of my life. I am exhausted. This year was marked by an upheaval of change, existential questioning, and an unrelenting effort to advocate for myself. But, I am here. It worked. Nothing is complete, nor finished, but I am closer than ever before.
In 2025, I’ll continue to devote myself to Murphy’s principles. Because he was right. “I wouldn’t change one stupid decision, for another five years of life.”
